My New Homeless
And so I was at .ISM gallery for their star-filled opening Saturday night, when I met a homeless smoking outside. He was sorta hot--silver fox--and a little crazy, and as it rained around us, I invited him inside.
We were chatting and talking--I asking him if he were homeless, and was he a little bit crazy? and he saying yes. Somehow his age came up, and I guessed 49.
"Close!" he said. "I'm 51." Then he told me about prison. A few minutes later he said he was 54.
"Oh, you totally lied to me for no reason!" I noted. "I'm kind of a pathological liar," he explained, and I demanded to see his ID. "You're 58!" I subtracted. "You've lied to me like three times in 10 minutes!" I wasn't judging, just noticing! Nothing wrong with a little pathological lying.
"Yeah," he said.
A few minutes later, I realized I'd done the math wrong. "Let me see your ID again," I requested, and resubtracted. He had been 49 all along.
And that is the story of how I met my new homeless.
We were chatting and talking--I asking him if he were homeless, and was he a little bit crazy? and he saying yes. Somehow his age came up, and I guessed 49.
"Close!" he said. "I'm 51." Then he told me about prison. A few minutes later he said he was 54.
"Oh, you totally lied to me for no reason!" I noted. "I'm kind of a pathological liar," he explained, and I demanded to see his ID. "You're 58!" I subtracted. "You've lied to me like three times in 10 minutes!" I wasn't judging, just noticing! Nothing wrong with a little pathological lying.
"Yeah," he said.
A few minutes later, I realized I'd done the math wrong. "Let me see your ID again," I requested, and resubtracted. He had been 49 all along.
And that is the story of how I met my new homeless.
posted by rebecca at 12:05 PM
3 Comments:
I'm sure you'll both be very happy. Just don't try to change him.
So did he ask you out? Maybe a fun evening of dumpster diving? He could spring for a bottle of wine at the 99 cents store. Ahhh sweet romance is in the air.
Sounds like my ex. He lied every 10 minutes. He is the same age and last I heard of him he was in jail.
I am glad you do not work at a bar and mistake my 16 year old for a 26 year old and serve him liquor. Must be that modern math you are using.
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