Seriously, Y'all Aren't Gonna Believe This

Last night I got another call from Promark Research push-polling the Daucher/"Correrra" race. This time, maybe because I said I vote for "a few more Democrats than Republicans" and was "leaning toward Schwarzenegger" (hee!), they stayed positive. No use chasing off someone who's already thinking about switching! You gotta reel us suckers in! This time, among the scaffolding that made it look like a real poll--"Would that make you very likely, somewhat likely . . . ," do you rent or own your home, is it a single-family house, mobile home, apartment--Wesley asked, "If you knew Orange County Sheriff Mike Carona was actively working to elect Lynn Daucher," followed by a whole list of quotes from the sheriff about how safe Daucher would keep us, would that make me "more or less likely to vote for her?"
Oh, more, definitely!
I think it's time to call Brian Lanza over at her office again.
Because he said categorically she wasn't doing any push-polling, right?
Jeez, you'd think at least he would have called over there and had me taken off the call sheet.

Worst Push Poll Ever--UPDATE!

Trying to figure out who was responsible for the lame bit of push-pollery I encountered at home last night (during Project Runway!), I called over to Lynn Daucher's campaign office. Brian Lanza, her campaign chair, sounded befuddled by the questions in the poll. "We don't use Promark Research," he said. "We use Public Opinion Strategies." He asked me about some of the questions in the poll. They were all issues GOP types get het up about: eminent domain, pensions for public employees, the "gay and lesbian agenda." Then there was the one that didn't seem to fit.
"That doesn't make sense," he said, about the valedictorian/schoolboard question, "Correa's kids are still in elementary school. It was Lynn who was on a school board, and her daughter was valedictorian of her high school!"
"Thanks for letting us know what Correa's planning to use against us," he chortled.
I called Correa's campaign office. They denied doing any polling; their funds now are going to ID voters, they said, always identified as 'Educators for Correa.'

Since no one was going to fess up, I called Public Opinion Strategies, Daucher's pollster. Did they outsource Correa/Daucher polling to Promark Research?
"It is a phone center we use," Matt at POS said. "But I can't confirm we were polling last night, and I wouldn't confirm we were polling last night." I would have to speak to Stephen Kinney, partner in the firm. I'm breathlessly awaiting that call back, I assure you.

I called Lanza again in Daucher's campaign office. "Public Opinion Strategies uses Promark as its 'call center,'" I told him. "Did you guys commission the push poll?"
"We absolutely did not commission a push poll," he said.
"Okay, did you commission a poll?"
"We are in the field, yes. We've spent $60 thousand on polling."
"Are you in the field right now?"
"I can't answer that."

Worst Push Poll EVER!

"Ring ring," says my phone!
"Hello!" say I.
"Hi, uh, we were wondering if you have a few minutes for a political poll," says the guy stammering on the other end of my line.
Do I ever!
From the first question--are you or anyone in your family employed by a newspaper or a political party?--I knew it was a push poll, and I knew the correct answer to continue would be "no." I am not stupid. I said no.
Did I know who I was voting for for governor? I "wasn't sure." (Hee!) How about in the state Senate race between Lou Correa (Dem) and Lynn Daucher (Rep). Gosh, I wasn't sure about that either! I waited for the questions about if I had known Lou Correa had fathered a black baby out of wedlock, would I be more or less likely to vote for him.
But they never came!
Instead, the push poll was so terribly constructed, I honestly couldn't figure out who they were trying to push.
The first question had THREE SEPARATE CLAUSES--only one of which mentioned "the gay and lesbian agenda." It was impossible to follow. And then I had to check with the guy again. "Um, 'five' in the scale is likely or not likely? And 'one' is . . . ?" Then he wanted to know which of the three had determined my choice. "Um, the eminent domain one?"
The second question asked, "If a candidate, while he was on the School Board, used his position to have his child made valedictorian over another student, would that make you more or less inclined to vote for him?"
"That's horrible!" I shouted. "NOBODY would do that!"
His next question was, "The school board action would be similar to corruption currently going on in Washington."
"That's not even a question," I explained. "Okay. 'Two.'"
Then there were some questions about one candidate being in the Assembly and encouraging Pete Wilson to expand the car tax. Huh?
I finally started laughing and told the guy, "This is the worst push poll EVER."
"I'm not even sure it's a push poll," he said morosely, before telling me, when asked, that he worked for "Pro-Mark Research."
"Oh, of course it is," I told him. But against WHOM???
The gay and lesbian agenda thing should have been a tip-off that it was a push poll against the Dem, but the reason Dems are unexcited about Correa (in fact, we at the Weekly called him "Lou Sheldon's Bitch") is because he's against gay marriage and doesn't have a great voting record on gay issues. Daucher, meanwhile, has a really butch haircut and I've always thought she was a lesbian with no proof whatsoever (besides the haircut).
As for the school board thing, I dont' think Correa was on the school board, but I know Daucher's big thing is education. Also, Correa's kids aren't even out of junior high yet; they went to elementary school with my son back when we lived in the sweet end of Santa Ana.
Third, I ended up spending so much time trying to parse the car tax question--why bring up a GOP governor BY NAME if you're trying to smear a Dem opponent?--and then I ended up trying so hard to figure out if either of them were even IN the assembly under Pete Wilson, that it took all the sting out of whatever that accusation was supposed to be.
So, way to go Pro-Mark Research.
Whichever of your candidates hired you, it was clearly money brilliantly spent.